This is an appendix to my review of Michel Desmurget’s 2022 book Screen Damage: The Dangers of Digital Media for Children. At the end of the book, Desmurget suggests “Seven Fundamental Rules.” However, they do not actually resemble a clear list, so I have reformulated them, incorporated other ideas from the book, and compiled them into a handy list.
19 digital rules for kids and families
1. Before kids reach the age of 6: no screens at all! For children’s proper development, not only are screens unnecessary, but they also need to be kept out of kids’ reach—just like harmful substances.
2. After kids turn 6: no more than 30 minutes of screens per day, increasing to a maximum of 1 hour by the age of 12. This includes all screens, including TV.
3. Allowing no screen time is easier than allowing a little. Temptation is easier to avoid when it is neither known nor in sight. Delay a child’s first screen experience for as long as possible.
4. No screens in the bedroom!
5. No inappropriate content. Use common sense and parental control software.
6. No screens in the morning before school. Digital excitement can make school content feel boring. Instead, use mornings and breakfasts for family interactions, letting school bring the excitement of the outside world.
7. No screens before bedtime. Screens severely affect both the length and quality of sleep.
8. One thing at a time. Multiple screens create the habit of split attention and damage concentration abilities.
9. Boredom during leisure time is important! When children have nothing to do, they face the challenge of entertaining themselves, which is highly beneficial for cognitive development (in a safe home environment, of course).
10. Growing up without digital devices will help kids use them more meaningfully in adulthood.
11. Fewer screens allow for more life. Parenting means interacting with kids, not delegating the job to screens.
12. Screen control is not only about gadgets for kids. It involves re-arranging the entire family ecology—kids observe how adults use screens and accept it as the norm. Kids will not develop a sober attitude toward digital devices if parents are glued to screens.
13. Allocate screen use for work or recreation to a separate room (such as a home office) or a specific time (such as family TV watching) whenever possible.
14. Making rules is effective. Arbitrary prohibitions lead to conflicts. From the moment screens are introduced into children’s lives, formal rules should be established. With sufficient parental determination, children will adapt.
15. Replacement activities will help avoid temptation. Use sports, arts, and all forms of non-digital fun. (A terrifying fact: this is the same strategy used in fighting drug addiction.)
16. Explaining “why other kids are allowed, but I am not” is perhaps the hardest part of digital parenting. Parents should be able to explain the harm of screens to a child’s intelligence, health, concentration, academic performance, and future.
17. Meaningful explanations might not be accepted right away, but they will form beneficial patterns in the long run. It is better for kids to be aware of screen damage than to blindly give up their lives to devices.
18. Integrate screen-coping strategies into the general principles of time management: teach kids to schedule their day, giving them a sense of agency over their behavior.
19. Restricting screens at an early age is a tactical goal. The strategic goal is to build adolescents’ capacities for self-regulation. Do not give up on kids, and they will be grateful as they grow and realize what was at stake.
What are your thoughts about the impact of FaceTiming with grandparents?